Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Great Harvest Bread Co.

VERDICT: Come for the delicious bread, leave for the atmosphere.

I really like Great Harvest Bread Co.  They do regular sliced bread a service, by making it fresh, preservative free and delicious.  The difference between Great Harvest Bread and Panera is dramatic.  Great Harvest shies away from croissants and danishes.  Instead they focus on white, wheat, and various other basic sliced breads.  They are really good though.  It really makes you detest going back to the normal grocery store fodder.  The downfall, as is with quality, is the price, about $5-$6 per loaf.  They also have cookies and a few bready desserts.
Part deux of this review really has to focus on the experience and atmosphere.  First, I was really excited to find a Great Harvest over by my Costco on Decatur.  I forced Greg to pull over and rush in.  However, there was a group of six or so teenage n'er-do-wells also approaching the store at the same time.  I was determined to get to the store before them and told Greg to hurry or they were going to beat us to the door.  He said, "don't worry, they'll eat up the free samples and you'll get a fresh loaf to sample".  He just said that because he is a lollygagger and hates to "pick up the pace".  I must be getting old since I've already used the terms "n'er-do-well" and "lollygagger" in this post.  Anyway, I let the hooligans beat me to the store.

Inside the narrow store, the teenagers turned out to be less of a threat.  It appeared to be closeted gay boys with their Christian-youth-group-approved girlfriends out having a wild time by venturing to the bread store to get a couple of sandwiches and get an inappropriate amount of free samples.  You know, basically being complete rebels.  They were kind of too outwardly excited about their bread samples in a wholesome way, saying things like "I love bread" and "bread rocks".  It was like those Totino pizza roll ads where the kids wax feverishly about their love of frozen food.

This process actually took a long time, giving me an ample amount of time to give Greg the I-told-you-so eye for being a lollygagger.  Something I'm sure he was oblivious to noticing.  During this time, I was also able to look around at all of the customers sitting at tables.  There were quite a few of them.  I would say at least ten people scattered through the sitting area.  Then it struck me as being incredibly odd.  Every single person was facing the counter.  Every single person was not eating, drinking, or talking.  They were just staring at the counter.  I felt this existential feeling like I was starring in Sartre's "No Exit".  They were the audience and I didn't know that I was in the play.  It was bizarre.  I know, I know, I often accuse restaurants of being cults, as in crEATe and the nearby Salad Creations, but I think I'm on to something. It was odd.  I have no idea what is going on there.

In any case, I get the counter with my Dakota wheat bread (sooooo gooood).  I get my choice of free samples and the girl behind the counter offered me the heel of the bread.  Those n'er-do-well, hooligan, gays and their beards stole my chance for a decent sample.  And Greg's lollygagging didn't help either.
Great Harvest Bread Co. on Urbanspoon

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Buzz BBQ

VERDICT: Cold, heavily smoke-flavored food served in a crappy atmosphere.

I had to beg and beg to go to this restaurant.  Greg just wouldn't give in.  He just "knew" that Buzz BBQ would be crappy, just like his bad experiences at other BBQ places in town like Memphis BBQ and the now closed Buckingham BBQ.  Anyway, Buzz BBQ won the Las Vegas Review-Journal Poll Best BBQ of Las Vegas in 2008 and 2009, so how bad could it be?
After eating at Buzz, you realize what a sham these awards are.
By the way, Taco Bell won for best Mexican when I first moved to Vegas.

I finally broke down Greg's resistance with the help of his mother.  We pulled out all the stops.  We even accused him of not wanting to try anything new; something that he relishes to do to me.  I didn't even care if it turned out to be bad.  At least, I would have gotten to try it and get rid of the nagging feeling that I'm missing out on something great.

Right when I opened the door, Greg's eyes seemed to say, "I told you so".  The atmosphere was just hideous.  The walls were painted red and there was a rustic, giant patio arbor covering most of the restaurant. It was brightly lit with cheap-looking tables and brown 70's banquet chairs.
Nothing says cheap like a banquet chair.

Let me break away here and tell you of one of my pet peeves.  I hate it when there is a large, empty restaurant and the hostess sits every group right next to each other.  Why do I have to have the inconvenience of being crammed elbow to elbow when there is plenty of space?  Cramming is, of course, what happened.  The hostess decided to put a large party of frat boys right next to us; they even had to pull tables together.  There were at least 10 other tables to choose, but no, people love to crowd.  In the end, it was for the best.  We got to hear one of the frat boys say, "Collard greens is a green".  Another responded, "so, it is an actual vegetable?"  To which, Greg responded to us, "Quite the Mensa meeting going on over there."

There was quite a wait for our food.  Greg and I shared a three meat combo with ribs, brisket, and andouille sausage.  
1.  The food was cold, despite the waitress bringing it out after I heard "order up" from the kitchen.
2.  The only flavoring on the meat was smoke.
3.  The andouille sausage was really just polska kielbasa (if I wanted kielbasa, I would have heated some Hillshire Farms up at home.)
4.  The sides are not even worth the effort to complain about them.

I would feel remiss if I didn't mention Greg's Mother's obsession with real butter.  She always feels insulted when a spread is offered with bread.  After all, she was the one that felt it necessary to bring her own butter to The Tournament of Kings.  Obviously, Buzz BBQ uses a spread instead of butter.  Greg's mother immediately threw it down and declared how they were monsters for trying to deceive their customers.  It really is just another reason out of many to never go to Buzz BBQ again.

The meal ended with a lot of "I told you so" moments.  Greg never did say it though.  I felt like an idiot all by myself.

Update:  Buzz BBQ (at least at the Northwest location) has gone out of business.  
Buzz BBQ on UrbanspoonBuzz BBQ on Urbanspoon