Agave

UPDATE: Now closed for business....color me shocked.

VERDICT: This restaurant looks great, but doesn't deliver good food.

First, I should let you know that I ate here for free.  I used a Groupon that I paid for with credit.  You see every time someone signs up with Groupon through the highlighted links and then ends up buying a Groupon, I get a $10 credit.  Don't click on the ads on my blog, but rather click on the Groupon links.  It's free to join and I have to say that it is a lot of fun too....do it, do it, do it...I want $10.

Anyway, the restaurant itself is impressive although an unfortunate shade of pink.  The unique architecture is further marred by the addition of TV's playing sports over the bar.

I immediately knew that I wasn't going to like the meal by the menus.  The menus have what appears to be a cover made out of copper.  That seems all well and good, but copper is not something you want to touch before eating.  Don't believe me?  Take out a couple of pennies and hold them in your hand.  Now smell your hand.  Gross, huh?  If you have a good sense of smell then you are going to smell this every time you raise your fork to your mouth if you don't wash your hands after handling the menu.  I am of the opinion that if you don't have a good enough sense of smell to notice this then you probably aren't a very good cook.

I decided to go safe.  I got the carne asada burrito.  It was flavorless and the meat was extremely chewy.  The brown beans were dry, undercooked, and bland.  I could only finish a small portion of the burrito before giving up.  I would much rather have Roberto's.  Greg got a taco sampler and found he couldn't finish his tacos either.  While he enjoyed the tacos "Al Pastor" (with pork), he couldn't finish the potato and portabella taco.

I've noticed that the people that like this place tend to talk about the cocktails a lot.  I'm thinking that you have to be drunk to like this place.  This barely missed being on my "Worst of Vegas" list, solely because the chips and salsa were good.

Garduño's at the Fiesta - Revisted

VERDICT: My reluctant return visit to Garduño's surprised me with improved quality.

Previously, I had written of how Garduño's was bland and tasteless.  Due to lame circumstances, we had a return visit.  At this attempt, I was determined to find flavor.  I got a three item combo.  I had the carne adovada, chile relleno, and just a plain ground beef burrito.  For those not in the know, carne adovada is a spicy pork concoction.  I figured if they were going to fail to provide spice, it would certainly show in the adovada.

 

Here's a picture of carne adovada.  You can see spiciness, no?

I'm pleased to announce that the carne adovada was flavorful and delicious.  The chile relleno, having a chile right in the name and in the dish would have to be flavorful as well...and it was.  The burrito, my control group, was actually delicious.  Little Greg, who just got three tacos, commented that he thought the quality of the food had improved since last time.  I have to agree. 

One problem with the carne adovada was the large piece of fatty pork I encountered.  Small bits of fat are normal and increase flavor, but this was an obviously large piece of fat that any astute cook, not in a hurry,  would have removed.

Let's visit the salsa bar.  Of course, the salsa bar was one of the things that they always had going for them.  The bean dip is always a favorite.  I also got the green salsa, which claimed to be "medium" and was made from tomatillo and avocado.  I found it to be refreshing like a cucumber.  Greg found it to be just a little too hot.  I also got the salsa diablo, which they claimed to be "hot".  I'm sure it would be hot for Greg, who refused to try it, but I found it to be rather mild.  However, it had a delicious smoky, chipotle flavor which I could not deny as flavorful.  

I take it all back.  Garduño's is no longer a Mexican restaurant for timid, white people.  They don't lay heavy on the spice, but they are no longer afraid of flavor.   At their prices, it is a good restaurant to visit.

 

Midwestern Guacamole - Recipe

RECIPE VERDICT: They'll all come a runnin' for this fancied up version of avocados.

One thing that I can make well is what I call Midwestern guacamole.  This is actually how I grew up making guacamole and for some reason it really upsets guacamole enthusiasts.  At least, it upsets them until they try it.  After they try it, it's like crack and they can't get it in their fat, little mouths fast enough.  The first taste is free, but after that you need to pay!

Anyway, the secret to making anything Midwestern is to add mayonnaise (Ironically, that makes it more French, too.  Ironic in that people in the Midwest tend to despise France.)  I start with however many avocados I have and cut them in half and remove the pit using the cut and twist method.  Greg constantly thinks that I'm going to cut off my hand doing this, but this is how Martha Stewart taught me and I still have all of my fingers.  I score the inside of the avocado and use a spoon to scoop it into a bowl.  I take a regular spoon from the drawer and eyeball the amount of mayonnaise to put in.  I say about a tablespoon for every two avocados.  I then pour in my favorite salsa in an equal amount.  Add lemon juice if you got it to prevent it from turning brown and mash it all together until almost smooth.  Add salsa or mayo to your liking.  You've just made crack there...it's got high street value.

 

I learned something about avocados being stringy.  Stringy avocados are taken out of the maturation process at the wrong time or sometimes they are a certain strain of avocado that has string.  California avocados are rarely stringy, unlike avocados from other countries, so BUY AMERICAN when making your Midwestern guacamole. 

Garduño's at the Fiesta Casino

 VERDICT: Bland Mexican food that your ancestors from 1800's Ireland would enjoy.
Update: I've changed my mind.  Read the updated post here.

This place is consistently voted as best Mexican food in Las Vegas.  I'll admit it.  I don't know what makes real authentic Mexican food, but if this is it than I don't like it.  This is the blandest Mexican food that you can find.  Perhaps that is the secret.  I think spicy food scares a lot of gringos.  This is certainly non-threatening food in that the only spice they apparently know how to use is salt.

Greg's mother, who thinks that steamed carrots are spicy enough, loves the place.  She, by the way, once referred to a bell pepper as very spicy and refers to mild salsa as "burny hot".

I seemed to remember something made with ground beef reminding me of McCormick taco seasoning mix, the same mix my mother used to use in the 70's when Mexican food was still considered exotic, rather than a staple.

 If the thought of eating a jalapeño terrifies you, than this is the Mexican restaurant for you.  Eat there with this in mind:  There is a lot of flavor in spicy food.  You must train yourself to tolerate spicier foods, but the reward is delicious...well that and possible digestive ailments.

Revisited: check it out here.

Roberto's

VERDICT: 24 hour restaurants are always a plus on this blog.  This restaurant comes with a delicious high-grease warning though.

I think that every city has a late night Mexican restaurant that every club hopper knows about and reveres.  This is that place.  It's the grease.  Drunk people love grease.  I have to admit after a night of drinking, nothing cures a hangover better than super greasy Mexican food.  Don't ask me how it works.  My standard hangover cure used to be Taco Time, but there is only one Taco Time in Las Vegas and it is too far away for me.  Also, I don't really drink very often anymore. 

Oh man!  Let's talk about Taco Time for a second.  Their food is not spectacular as a whole, but the crisp meat burritos, the taquito before taquitos were in vogue, are pure deep fried heaven.  I love Taco Time and miss it.  I love Taco Time so much that one day I even ended up in the emergency room vomiting blood apparently from Taco Time related food poisoning and I still went to Taco Time.

Greg was driving around one day and I saw that they were putting a Taco Time in my neighborhood.  I screamed like a woman getting a free car on Oprah.  It scared Greg, but he immediately understood that it was not an overreaction.  I was so excited to have Taco Time again.  I went it and the manager took my order.  I ordered a crisp meat burrito and mexi-fries.  He then snorted and said, "You know mexi-fries are just tater tots."  My shoulders immediately slumped.  Of course, I knew that mexi-fries were just tater tots (with fancy mexi-spice).  I love tater tots.  I loved them even before Napoleon Dynamite.  It was a sure sign that this Taco Time wasn't going to last, not if the manager is berating one of their better products.  When I got my crisp meat burrito, it was frozen in the middle and the mexi-fries were undercooked.

It went out of business within 2 months.

Anyway, Roberto's has it's own kind of atmosphere.  They have pictures of a lot of the food they have on a menu.  What gets me is that even on the pictures, they are still displayed on styrofoam plates.  I just figured that if they were going to have appetizing pictures maybe they could have a better display.  Even McDonald's has pictures of Big Macs on a cutting board surrounded by fresh vegetables on their menus, as if that's believable.

There are a lot of Roberto's in Las Vegas.  The problem with Roberto's is that they don't really have health food.  In fact, I would go so far as say that they have unhealth food.  I watched them prepare my carne asada nachos (the best thing on the menu).  Not only do they deep fry the already cooked tortilla chips, they also take out a ladle and dip it into the deep fat fryer and pour it on the chips!!!!  Now, that's flavor!  The healthy bonus, given as if an apology for all the grease, is the spicy carrots in their salsa bar.  They are delicious and help soak up the grease.

Many Roberto's are 24 hours!

Lindo Michoacán

VERDICT: Slightly overpriced, but good Mexican food.

This place has won the Las Vegas Review-Journal Poll's best of Las Vegas award every year since 2004.  I think that poll is rather lame, because I know quite a few crappy places that have won the award.  I'm pretty sure best Mexican restaurant was Taco Bell when I first moved to Las Vegas.  That can certainly tell you what a dearth of local flavor Las Vegas has.

This place basically claims to present the cooking of nuns from Michoacán as interpreted by Javier.  My impression is that this area has more subtle flavors than other areas.  I had the Enchiladas de Mole con Carne for $15.95.  The mole wasn't an overpowering flavor, but accented the enchiladas nicely.  The steak was pounded thin and delicious.  I thought there was too much cheese in the enchiladas.  I honestly thought that "too much cheese" wasn't a phrase I would ever use, but here we are.

Greg had Pollo Sarandeado Estilo "Tia Esther"™ for $14.95 which is described as grilled chicken breast basted with sarandeado sauce, a selection of dried chiles, secret spices and blended with a touch of mayonnaise.  It was basically a couple chicken breasts with a light flavored oily sauce on it.  It was OK, but not big with the flavor (needed more chiles).

Our entrees came with fideo soup, which was suspiciously a lot like Lipton dried noodle soup with tomato flavoring added.  However, it was good.

Atmosphere:  It was typical restaurant atmosphere.  There was a man with a large mustache singing Mexican songs with a Casio, so bring dollars for tips.  He had a good voice and every once in a while one of the bus boys would try to get close to the mic to sing a few words along with him.

There are these annoying stickers on the corners of all of the tables.  I feel I have to mention them, because they stick out like sore thumbs when you are there.  They look a little like this:

 Multiple locations in Las Vegas, check out the website for details:

http://www.lindomichoacan.com/