Martinis

UPDATE: Martinis is now out of business. 

VERDICT: Come here to talk about your 6-figure deal, not for amazing food.

I got a Groupon for Martinis.  It cost $15 for $35 worth of food.  I didn't even know where Martinis was, but I saw it was near and thought I would give it a try.  I'm all about the Groupons, I recommend all Vegas people take advantage of them.

First, Greg and I noticed the large amount of "luxury" cars in the parking lot.  I'm talking about cars that aren't bought because they are nice, but rather bought to show wealth.  At least, that is what I think of Mercedes and BMW.  They certainly aren't bought because they don't break down and let's leave it at that.

When we entered at around 6:30, we were faced with a crowded bar area.  I mean packed with loud "successful" people, trying to talk louder than each other, as they discussed about how much money they have in some sort of money-fueled mating ritual.  These were the type of people that use phrases like "six-figure deal", "team building", and "after this, I'm going to the gym".  Greg, of course, wanted to leave immediately, as did I.  However, I didn't want to be stuck with a Groupon that I already paid for.  I didn't want this to be a lesson learned about pre-buying food. (Groupon is great...try it, I get $10 if you use my links and buy something).

Luckily, someone was there to assist us to the dining room, which was separated by a wall with fireplaces from the yuppie-packed bar.  The restaurant area was nice and sufficiently separated from the din.  She said that if we waited around, the live music was going to start later.  This only made us want to finish our meal quickly and leave.

We had the pork and shrimp dumplings.  They were good, but only came with 5 tiny dumplings for a substantial price.  I had the flatbread pizza. Among its toppings were pepperoni, Greek olives, and jalapeños.  I love jalapeños, but with the olives, the pizza was too pickle-y.  I ended up taking them off.  Greg had the shrimp scampi, which he reported was good, but the shrimp was slightly overcooked.

All in all, it was good, not great and a little spendy.  A place to see and be seen, which is just not my scene.

Cici's Pizza

VERDICT:  The place should be called Cici's Lightly-Flavored Cooked Dough.

I love pizza.  I mean I love pizza so much that it is part of my identity.  A pizza has to be really bad for me not to like it.  So, I was excited to see Cici's Pizza open up so close to me.  A pizza buffet for $4.99!!!  How could I not love it?  And the ads on TV, where the lady gets a salad and then piles on pizza...a salad bar, too?  I'm there.

There's just one problem though.  No one would go with me.  I couldn't go with myself.  I have this thing that I don't like to go to a place with a lot of kids by myself, because I think that it makes me look like a pedophile.  I bet I'm the first restaurant review to include the word, "pedophile"...another great first!!  Anyway, Greg said, "There's a reason that it is only $4.99.  It's crap!"  I then read other reviews that said that the taco pizza is great.  I whined at Greg stating how long it has been since I've had taco pizza and he caved.

Joy, oh joy!  I get to step foot in the promised land that is Cici's Pizza.  We get the the parking lot and Greg is starting to white-knuckle it.  I pry him out of the car and ignore his protests as I enter the restaurant.  First, there is no salad bar.  Rather there are two pre-made salads.  It turns out that the one salad that we did eat was really good, even for having Italian dressing.  That, as it turns out, is the only nice thing I have to say about Cici's pizza.

They basically serve cooked dough here.  The sauce is a mere suggestion of a sauce.  I'm thinking that they use a flavorless red food coloring.  The cheese is spotty and well they have perfected the technique of using no cheese and making it look like some cheese.  What we end up having then is bread with various illusions of toppings.  Yes Virginia, there is such a thing as bad pizza.  My taco pizza....a myth.  They never put any out, but I doubt it would have been of any different flavor.

That being said, kids are dumb and will love it.  So, it is a good cheap place to take the dumb children that you might be raising.

Pizza Hut - Lunch Buffet

UPDATE:  RIP Pizza Hut pizza buffet.  Out of business.  I guess I'll have to travel to the 80's to try you again.
VERDICT: An genuine 80's experience right down to the price.

If you are looking for a review of Pizza Hut, you are an idiot.  Everyone knows what Pizza Hut has and tastes like by now.  If you have bad service or experience at a Pizza Hut chances are that in a month it will be different anyway because of turnover.  I guess you can critique management style.  All in all, I find that most Pizza Huts are the same and if they aren't they become the same eventually.

I'm here to talk about their lunch buffet at this particular pizza hut.

You have a small window during the week to get to this Pizza Hut to experience the Pizza Hut lunch buffet.  These were a lot more popular in the 80's when almost all the Pizza Huts were more than just a take out counter, but they all had dining rooms as well.  In fact, I recommend dressing in your best 80's attire when visiting this Pizza Hut.  The atmosphere is a shining example of the pinnacle of conservative 80's decorating.  They have green glass lanterns hanging from plain gold colored chains.  Fake spider plants and fake ivy are scattered throughout and the tables are the traditional particleboard with obvious fake wood grain laminated on top of it.  They even have a clock that says time for pizza and the second hand zooms quickly around  every 5 seconds.  Of course, the actual time on the clock is wrong.  I'd say this is the perfect place to bring someone that has romantic notions about the 80's.  This is what it was really like, not tubular, not awesome, but rather a restaurant's attempt of recreating the atmosphere of someone's poorly decorated study.  Heck, take the kids for a history lesson.

It is $6 without drink.  The drink is where they get ya!  It comes with a salad bar and a pizza bar with pasta and breadsticks.  They are pretty good about getting pizza out, but you got to fight the other people to get to the fresh stuff.  They're pretty greedy there.  Greg saw a lady take six pieces of a fresh pizza.  What the???  I think I had three pieces max with a salad and I felt stuffed.  I managed to cram one more piece in though because of the buffet mentality.

7000 W Charleston Blvd
Las Vegas NV 89117

(702)363-3612

Hours posted above

Café Verdi

VERDICT: Cheap, but good pizza (that will kill you)

This is cheap pizza.  By cheap, I mean not expensive.  OK, maybe it isn't the best quality.  The pizza is really greasy, which is a sign of inferior ingredients. But yum!  I think the flavor of the sauce and the quality of the pepperoni make a pizza.  They make up for the inferior cheese by giving you a lot of it.  $6.99 for a one topping 16" pizza for pick up only is all I ever need.  They also have specialty pizzas including greek and spicy buffalo pizzas.

But there's more, I tried the garlic balls.  These have got to be the worst thing for you.  They deep fry dough and cover it with garlic and butter.  You get 20 of these artery clogging pieces of buttery heaven for only $2.99.  What??!?!  I know, I know, usually killing yourself with obesity induced diabetes is a little more expensive.  These are a must try.  They are to die for...literally.

They also have philly steaks, sandwiches, calzones and hamburgers, but I can't ever get past the pizza.  Why order anything else?

Atmosphere:  OK, this is where we run into problems.  It's an undecorated beige and white blah-scape in a strip mall.  It also has a strange smell that comes and goes.

All the workers appear to speak some Eastern European language that I can't quite make out and they have anti-evil eye protection on the walls.  They are all extremely friendly and well, they make damn good pizza.

5861 W. Craig Road
369-9511
Mon-Wed 10-10
Thu-Sat 10-12
Sun 12-12