Which Wich?

VERDICT: A good and slightly expensive sandwich with a fun and gimmicky way of ordering.

So, I haven't really had the opportunity to go to restaurants that make sandwiches.  Little Greg always insisted that buying sandwiches in a restaurant was a waste of money.  "Why pay so much when you can make it at home for practically nothing!"  The irony of him saying this is that little Greg often berated me for writing that restaurants are pricey.  I'm making it sound like he kept me in a closet, only occasionally opening the door to yell at me and let me go out to eat.  Well, think what you want.

Should a restaurant name be a question?

The gimmick is the way you order.  There are paper bags that you choose from that have sandwich names on them.  You choose the sandwich you want by marking it on the bag and writing your name (free sharpies if you are morally corrupt).  They have a lot of sandwiches to choose from.  I suggest choosing a favorite and then never straying from that sandwich again, not like Greg.  I'm sure he would choose a different sandwich every time.  Well, or stay with one sandwich for 20 years and then choose a different sandwich.  When the previous sandwich says "you can't order me again", he would be all "I thought it would be OK."  Are you effing serious?  You thought it would OK after 20 years of monogamous sandwich eating?  Why would I be OK with that?  Especially when I looked at your phone and saw the texts to the new sandwich and you were all "I love you sandwich", even though you haven't even met the sandwich in person, not to mention the pics sent without a stitch of bread on.  Then you spent $200 of my money to get a makeover before meeting the new sandwich.  How is this OK?

Anyway, you take the bag to the cashier and then pay.  I love this part, because it really does limit human interaction.  I don't really like talking to people if I can help it, especially after being dumped for a younger sandwich...a 20 year old sandwich no less, the same amount of years we were together. 

I got a turkey, bacon, and avocado sandwich.  It was good.  They toast the outside giving the sandwich a crispy baguette without it being to hard to easily bite into.  Now that I have sandwich freedom, I think that I will eat there again.

Great Harvest Bread Co.

VERDICT: Come for the delicious bread, leave for the atmosphere.

I really like Great Harvest Bread Co.  They do regular sliced bread a service, by making it fresh, preservative free and delicious.  The difference between Great Harvest Bread and Panera is dramatic.  Great Harvest shies away from croissants and danishes.  Instead they focus on white, wheat, and various other basic sliced breads.  They are really good though.  It really makes you detest going back to the normal grocery store fodder.  The downfall, as is with quality, is the price, about $5-$6 per loaf.  They also have cookies and a few bready desserts.

Part deux of this review really has to focus on the experience and atmosphere.  First, I was really excited to find a Great Harvest over by my Costco on Decatur.  I forced Greg to pull over and rush in.  However, there was a group of six or so teenage n'er-do-wells also approaching the store at the same time.  I was determined to get to the store before them and told Greg to hurry or they were going to beat us to the door.  He said, "don't worry, they'll eat up the free samples and you'll get a fresh loaf to sample".  He just said that because he is a lollygagger and hates to "pick up the pace".  I must be getting old since I've already used the terms "n'er-do-well" and "lollygagger" in this post.  Anyway, I let the hooligans beat me to the store.

Inside the narrow store, the teenagers turned out to be less of a threat.  It appeared to be closeted gay boys with their Christian-youth-group-approved girlfriends out having a wild time by venturing to the bread store to get a couple of sandwiches and get an inappropriate amount of free samples.  You know, basically being complete rebels.  They were kind of too outwardly excited about their bread samples in a wholesome way, saying things like "I love bread" and "bread rocks".  It was like those Totino pizza roll ads where the kids wax feverishly about their love of frozen food.

This process actually took a long time, giving me an ample amount of time to give Greg the I-told-you-so eye for being a lollygagger.  Something I'm sure he was oblivious to noticing.  During this time, I was also able to look around at all of the customers sitting at tables.  There were quite a few of them.  I would say at least ten people scattered through the sitting area.  Then it struck me as being incredibly odd.  Every single person was facing the counter.  Every single person was not eating, drinking, or talking.  They were just staring at the counter.  I felt this existential feeling like I was starring in Sartre's "No Exit".  They were the audience and I didn't know that I was in the play.  It was bizarre.  I know, I know, I often accuse restaurants of being cults, as in crEATe and the nearby Salad Creations, but I think I'm on to something. It was odd.  I have no idea what is going on there.

In any case, I get the counter with my Dakota wheat bread (sooooo gooood).  I get my choice of free samples and the girl behind the counter offered me the heel of the bread.  Those n'er-do-well, hooligan, gays and their beards stole my chance for a decent sample.  And Greg's lollygagging didn't help either.

Martinis

UPDATE: Martinis is now out of business. 

VERDICT: Come here to talk about your 6-figure deal, not for amazing food.

I got a Groupon for Martinis.  It cost $15 for $35 worth of food.  I didn't even know where Martinis was, but I saw it was near and thought I would give it a try.  I'm all about the Groupons, I recommend all Vegas people take advantage of them.

First, Greg and I noticed the large amount of "luxury" cars in the parking lot.  I'm talking about cars that aren't bought because they are nice, but rather bought to show wealth.  At least, that is what I think of Mercedes and BMW.  They certainly aren't bought because they don't break down and let's leave it at that.

When we entered at around 6:30, we were faced with a crowded bar area.  I mean packed with loud "successful" people, trying to talk louder than each other, as they discussed about how much money they have in some sort of money-fueled mating ritual.  These were the type of people that use phrases like "six-figure deal", "team building", and "after this, I'm going to the gym".  Greg, of course, wanted to leave immediately, as did I.  However, I didn't want to be stuck with a Groupon that I already paid for.  I didn't want this to be a lesson learned about pre-buying food. (Groupon is great...try it, I get $10 if you use my links and buy something).

Luckily, someone was there to assist us to the dining room, which was separated by a wall with fireplaces from the yuppie-packed bar.  The restaurant area was nice and sufficiently separated from the din.  She said that if we waited around, the live music was going to start later.  This only made us want to finish our meal quickly and leave.

We had the pork and shrimp dumplings.  They were good, but only came with 5 tiny dumplings for a substantial price.  I had the flatbread pizza. Among its toppings were pepperoni, Greek olives, and jalapeños.  I love jalapeños, but with the olives, the pizza was too pickle-y.  I ended up taking them off.  Greg had the shrimp scampi, which he reported was good, but the shrimp was slightly overcooked.

All in all, it was good, not great and a little spendy.  A place to see and be seen, which is just not my scene.

Mimi's Café

VERDICT: Bring your own butter...better yet, bring your own food.

I don't get this restaurant at all.  What is it suppose to be?  A family restaurant?  A French restaurant?  A New Orleans restaurant?  Because it fails with all of that.  The menu consists of rather bland café fare.  There is Chicken Cordon Bleu on the menu.  Rather than actual Cordon Bleu, it is deep-fried chicken served with a bright yellow mustard sauce that they have the guts to call Dijon sauce.  The room we were in was decorated as if we were in a New Orleans café, ironically painted with the names of fun, Cajun dishes that were not on the menu. 
I ended up getting the ravioli...I know, I know, how French is that?  The sauce would made Chef Boyardee seem gourmet and the ravioli seemed fresh from the freezer. We went with Greg's mother, who I refer to as the Dairy Queen.  She became absolutely disgusted that they didn't serve real butter with the bread.  It tasted as if it was Promise, a butter substitute..  You may remember her bringing her own butter to the Tournament of King.  She, after finishing with her unbridled disgust, decided to bring her own butter with her on any future trips to Mimi's Café.  I, on the other hand, was not offended by the butter substitute, but will not be returning to Mimi's ever again, with or without my own butter.

Hash House a Go Go

VERDICT: Impressive LOOKING food...that is all.

Greg and I got so excited to see Hash House a Go Go on the Travel Channel or Food Network or whatever channel they got onto.  Finally, a really fun restaurant in Las Vegas that isn't on the strip.

I've been to Hash House a Go Go several times and I have to say, I'm not a fan.  Here's the deal, the food is impressive looking.  Just do an Google image search for Hash House a Go Go to see some of the creations.  The visual wowness of the food is really the only best part about it.  The biscuits are dry, crumbly and tasteless.  The "homemade" strawberry preserves tastes just like Smuckers.  The breakfast potatoes are bland and often undercooked.  The food that people rave about is basically food that is pretty hard to mess up, like pancakes, waffles and fried chicken.

Basically, the presentation can be summed up as this:  Stack a bunch of large portions of food on top of each other, throw some fried grass of some kind on top of it or uncooked spaghetti, and shove a large twig of rosemary down the middle to make it look fancy

I can throw food on my plate with some weeds at home.  Thanks.

Capriotti's

VERDICT: Get a large and share these orgasmic sandwiches with someone.

Ever hear of someone talking about Capriotti's?  They get a glazed over look in their eye and their voice drops to reverence.  Capriotti's has some amazing sandwiches.  Their specialty sandwiches are all deliciously decedent.  One is the Bobbie with turkey, cranberries, stuffing, and mayo.  Another is the capastrami (excuse me while I wipe a tear from my eye from the rapture), it has pastrami and the most delicious coleslaw you can imagine.

 

This capastrami doesn't look amazing, but your mouth knows better.

The trick to an amazing experience at Capriotti's is to ensure to get one of the specialty sandwiches.  (Also, it helps to know the quality of the pastrami for the day.  Unfortunately, consistency of quality at this particular Capriotti's is questionable.)  So, when my parents came to visit and I hyped up the specialty sandwiches, what did they order?  An Italian sub!?!?!  I criticized my father through the entire ordering process, but he stood his ground and got the crappy sub.  It was like going to the Louvre and only looking at the landscaping.  My father's response was that his sandwich was just OK, which surprised no one.

If you want a mouth orgasm (hmmm, I need to come up with a better term).  If you want a taste orgasm, try a specialty sandwich.  If you want a so-so experience, order a boring sandwich.

Heidi's Brooklyn Deli

VERDICT: Pay the New York price without having to go to New York for these good sandwiches.

I've had on a couple occasions been asked to meet Little Greg at his work, so we can go to lunch together.  On every occasion, I've had to wait for an hour before his break.  Greg always claims, "This never happens!  I always go to break on time".  Way to play dumb, but I'm onto your tricks little one, so watch it.

Anyway, one time, instead of waiting, I went to pick up sandwiches from Heidi's Brooklyn Deli on Charleston.  I found the atmosphere friendly, which Greg later concurred.  The friendly attitude adds a lot, because there are a lot of serious sandwich decisions to be made:  Type of bread?  Toasted?  Meat heated? Side dish?  Type of cheese?  Do you want a pickle on the side? (Yep, they ask that last one).

I had Hell's Kitchen, which was egg salad, bacon, swiss, avocado and a special spicy sauce.  It was delicious, but then again, it was $7.  It comes with a side of either a tiny bag of Lay's potato chips or a tablespoon of potato salad or coleslaw.  The sides are kind of a joke in their size, but after the sandwich I was full.  Greg had the Bronx Bomber, pastrami and egg salad.  Also delicious.

If you are looking for a good sandwich than this is another sandwich stop among many.  It clearly outshines subway and Quiznos, but is on par with Capriotti's.  This place has the added benefit of New York style pricing, which is great for people with too much money.

They also deliver.