Mimi's Café

VERDICT: Bring your own butter...better yet, bring your own food.

I don't get this restaurant at all.  What is it suppose to be?  A family restaurant?  A French restaurant?  A New Orleans restaurant?  Because it fails with all of that.  The menu consists of rather bland café fare.  There is Chicken Cordon Bleu on the menu.  Rather than actual Cordon Bleu, it is deep-fried chicken served with a bright yellow mustard sauce that they have the guts to call Dijon sauce.  The room we were in was decorated as if we were in a New Orleans café, ironically painted with the names of fun, Cajun dishes that were not on the menu. 
I ended up getting the ravioli...I know, I know, how French is that?  The sauce would made Chef Boyardee seem gourmet and the ravioli seemed fresh from the freezer. We went with Greg's mother, who I refer to as the Dairy Queen.  She became absolutely disgusted that they didn't serve real butter with the bread.  It tasted as if it was Promise, a butter substitute..  You may remember her bringing her own butter to the Tournament of King.  She, after finishing with her unbridled disgust, decided to bring her own butter with her on any future trips to Mimi's Café.  I, on the other hand, was not offended by the butter substitute, but will not be returning to Mimi's ever again, with or without my own butter.

Paymon's

I love falafel, but I never get to have it.  Greg always chants, "Falafel is awful."  Partly because he likes the rhyme, partly because he knows it annoys me, and partly because he hates falafel.  I was super excited when he suggested Paymon's for lunch.  He tends to avoid Mediterranean restaurants, because he always says, "Isn't that whole area a little iffy?"  Paymon's serves what I think of as non-threatening food from a foreign country.  Nothing is very strange, falafel is perhaps one of their stranger things on the menu.  Everything is amazingly overpriced.

Greg had the pastitsio, which is basically bland Greek lasagna, something that I could never get excited about.  I had the falafel which had really large patties.  I prefer my patties smaller and crispier.  The fries were just superb though.  I could go to Paymon's for just the fries with their strange mustard like fry sauce.

The thing that pissed me off though is when we ordered a pot of tea.  They have a great selection of tea to order from, but when we asked if we could split a pot of overpriced tea, we were informed that it wasn't allowed.  Really?  Everyone has to get their own POT of tea...not a glass, a pot.  You can't split a pot of tea.  What a joke of a restaurant showing that they really just care about ways to make money!

Paymon's, by the way, is the restaurant that gets called in about on KNPR constantly.  Whenever they have a food critic on, people call in and rave about Paymon's.  It got the point that people at KNPR usually mention that they will not be taking calls about Paymon's and that Paymon's is just all right of a restaurant.  The people that called in about Paymon's apparently were over-enthusiastic employees.

Hash House a Go Go

VERDICT: Impressive LOOKING food...that is all.

Greg and I got so excited to see Hash House a Go Go on the Travel Channel or Food Network or whatever channel they got onto.  Finally, a really fun restaurant in Las Vegas that isn't on the strip.

I've been to Hash House a Go Go several times and I have to say, I'm not a fan.  Here's the deal, the food is impressive looking.  Just do an Google image search for Hash House a Go Go to see some of the creations.  The visual wowness of the food is really the only best part about it.  The biscuits are dry, crumbly and tasteless.  The "homemade" strawberry preserves tastes just like Smuckers.  The breakfast potatoes are bland and often undercooked.  The food that people rave about is basically food that is pretty hard to mess up, like pancakes, waffles and fried chicken.

Basically, the presentation can be summed up as this:  Stack a bunch of large portions of food on top of each other, throw some fried grass of some kind on top of it or uncooked spaghetti, and shove a large twig of rosemary down the middle to make it look fancy

I can throw food on my plate with some weeds at home.  Thanks.

Salad Creations

UPDATE:  Another one bites the dust....This location is out of business

VERDICT: Prepare to barf from either the horrible salad or the outrageous price.

How can you mess up a salad?  Salad Creations will find a way.

This place is weird.  It gave me strange vibes, just like Create did.  There just has to be something about the word "create" that inspires craziness.  I have learned my lesson though and am not going to flat-out call this restaurant a cult....but let's look at the facts.  They serve salads at a salad bar where you aren't allowed to touch anything.  Meat is at a super premium at $2.50 per added serving.  They serve you everything in a generic metal bowl.  Even though they serve everything in a metal bowl, they still only trust the customers with super-small, super-flimsy plastic utensils.

All this that you see before you cost $18.00.

They have this bar set up, where the worker places the food in the bowl for you after you either choose one of the featured salads or choose your own toppings.  Greg got a small Florida Sunshine Cobb for $7 (a large is $9).  A got a large 5 toppings.  The various lettuces are behind the counter in these large hanging bins.  It gives the illusion that they have cut the lettuce fresh.  Perhaps they have, but it tasted like bagged lettuce with the bagged lettuce taste (don't argue with me, I'm a super taster).  All I'm saying is that if it quacks like a duck and it walks like a duck, then....   The salads were horrible.  Greg labeled them "casino-grade", which is merely satisfactory only if it comes free with a meal.  

Look at their stupid hats!  Is that Carol Burnett with the mop?!?

They are trying to market themselves as the healthy alternative, but if they use bagged salads they are falling short.  Bagged salad is often contaminated with bacteria and poop.  Salads are not diet food.  A typical salad at Salad Creations almost always has at least 40 grams of fat or more.  It's the dressing that gets you, so order the vinaigrette.  

The urban dictionary actually has an entry for Salad Creations, which includes, "A place where 30 year-old lonely women come to bitch at the employees about how much they weigh."  This speaks wonders on how Salad Creations is preying on health-conscious consumers and consumers with body image problems. 

Don't buy into the Salad Creations lies.  It's unhealthy, bagged crap.

Try the more reasonably priced, Souper Salad.

Garduño's at the Fiesta - Revisted

VERDICT: My reluctant return visit to Garduño's surprised me with improved quality.

Previously, I had written of how Garduño's was bland and tasteless.  Due to lame circumstances, we had a return visit.  At this attempt, I was determined to find flavor.  I got a three item combo.  I had the carne adovada, chile relleno, and just a plain ground beef burrito.  For those not in the know, carne adovada is a spicy pork concoction.  I figured if they were going to fail to provide spice, it would certainly show in the adovada.

 

Here's a picture of carne adovada.  You can see spiciness, no?

I'm pleased to announce that the carne adovada was flavorful and delicious.  The chile relleno, having a chile right in the name and in the dish would have to be flavorful as well...and it was.  The burrito, my control group, was actually delicious.  Little Greg, who just got three tacos, commented that he thought the quality of the food had improved since last time.  I have to agree. 

One problem with the carne adovada was the large piece of fatty pork I encountered.  Small bits of fat are normal and increase flavor, but this was an obviously large piece of fat that any astute cook, not in a hurry,  would have removed.

Let's visit the salsa bar.  Of course, the salsa bar was one of the things that they always had going for them.  The bean dip is always a favorite.  I also got the green salsa, which claimed to be "medium" and was made from tomatillo and avocado.  I found it to be refreshing like a cucumber.  Greg found it to be just a little too hot.  I also got the salsa diablo, which they claimed to be "hot".  I'm sure it would be hot for Greg, who refused to try it, but I found it to be rather mild.  However, it had a delicious smoky, chipotle flavor which I could not deny as flavorful.  

I take it all back.  Garduño's is no longer a Mexican restaurant for timid, white people.  They don't lay heavy on the spice, but they are no longer afraid of flavor.   At their prices, it is a good restaurant to visit.

 

Midwestern Guacamole - Recipe

RECIPE VERDICT: They'll all come a runnin' for this fancied up version of avocados.

One thing that I can make well is what I call Midwestern guacamole.  This is actually how I grew up making guacamole and for some reason it really upsets guacamole enthusiasts.  At least, it upsets them until they try it.  After they try it, it's like crack and they can't get it in their fat, little mouths fast enough.  The first taste is free, but after that you need to pay!

Anyway, the secret to making anything Midwestern is to add mayonnaise (Ironically, that makes it more French, too.  Ironic in that people in the Midwest tend to despise France.)  I start with however many avocados I have and cut them in half and remove the pit using the cut and twist method.  Greg constantly thinks that I'm going to cut off my hand doing this, but this is how Martha Stewart taught me and I still have all of my fingers.  I score the inside of the avocado and use a spoon to scoop it into a bowl.  I take a regular spoon from the drawer and eyeball the amount of mayonnaise to put in.  I say about a tablespoon for every two avocados.  I then pour in my favorite salsa in an equal amount.  Add lemon juice if you got it to prevent it from turning brown and mash it all together until almost smooth.  Add salsa or mayo to your liking.  You've just made crack there...it's got high street value.

 

I learned something about avocados being stringy.  Stringy avocados are taken out of the maturation process at the wrong time or sometimes they are a certain strain of avocado that has string.  California avocados are rarely stringy, unlike avocados from other countries, so BUY AMERICAN when making your Midwestern guacamole. 

New comment system

OK, this is my last change to the comment system...promise.  I switched to Disqus, which has the added ability to use facebook.  Hopefully, it was worth it, because I lost all old comments.